Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Water Water Everywhere...

Tipping her head back, she drains the last bit of  Coca-Cola from the slim green bottle she holds in her right hand.  She can picture her mother’s face, grimacing at the sight.  It isn’t lady like, her mother would chastise her.  That’s what the straw is for, Nora!  But the paper always sticks to her lip.  Wiggling her toes deeper into the sand, she takes pleasure in the cooler grains buried a few inches beneath the hotter, top layer.  This is certainly the life, she muses.  Stretched out in the sun, on a comfortable barkcloth-clad chaise lounge, and dressed daringly in her new orange strapless one-piece, she’s spent the last two hours mostly dozing and dreaming, while palm trees sway and blue waves kiss the shore behind her closed eyes.

Her heart sinks.  A breeze is picking up, though trying to be playful.  Tickling her cheeks, and lifting her bangs impishly off of her forehead.  Shuffling the pages of the book she’s only half-heartedly been reading.  And the sun, as though suddenly gripped by a fit of regret over its own daring attire, is covering itself up with clouds.  She shivers and reaches for her polka-dotted beach towel, draping its warmth around her shoulders as the first drops of rain splash off the end of her nose.

Reluctantly vacating the soft cushions of her chair, she stands and gathers her book and empty bottle, and slips into her sandals.  Facing reality from the rusty old roof of her apartment building, she is reminded once again that palm trees and blue waves are a long, long ways away.

Water water everywhere...

Just not here.

She pushes the dishpan, full of sand, under the chaise lounge.

 

This week’s prompt:

RUSTY
1: affected by or as if by rust; especially : stiff with or as if with rust
2: inept and slow through lack of practice or old age
3a : of the color rust 

b : dulled in color or appearance by age and use <rusty old boots>
4: outmoded
5: hoarse, grating

- See more at: http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/#sthash.TLyJnOLM.dpuf

32 comments:

  1. You throw us the bait--a slim green bottle, and let us experiencing a tactile feeling of being in a place and time that is immediately NOW. And then you pull the carpet from under our feet and we fall thrillingly into the macabre reality of a moment we know only too well. You show us ourselves, and it's stunning.

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    1. Dawn, thank you, from the bottom of my heart!

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  2. Her imaginings are a wonderful escape. Well done!

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    1. Thank you Brenda! I appreciate you for reading this!

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  3. Oh man, I really thought she was at the beach! Great twist ending. The whole piece is written wonderfully, but my favorite line is "And the sun, as though suddenly gripped by a fit of regret over its own daring attire, is covering itself up with clouds." I love how you described that!

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    1. Tammy, thanks for the words of encouragement! I have to admit I was proud of that line too;)

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  4. Oh I LOVE this you surely had me going right up to the end. B

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  5. Awh, Valerie! You love my doggie and you love me. Awh. Is Amy better and are you glad you are home for a while?

    Your imagination is tremendous. You are so TALENTED!!!

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    1. Oh Renae, why thank you! Amy is better now! Hooray!! Amy and Stuart leave for Costa Rica soon-I'm garden and dog sitting-and I plan to write like crazy!

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  6. dishes often bring about daydreaming. :) thanks for linking up this week.

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  7. Such lovely writing :)) I thought something might be up when you said 'blue waves kiss the shore behind her closed eyes', but I was still smiling at the great last line that pulled everything together and tied it in a bow. Just lovely!

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    1. Jo-Anne, thank you so much-and you are clever to have noticed that phrase. I was trying to word it so it didn't sound like she literally had palm trees and waves behind her eyes;) I always appreciate your thoughtful comments so much!!

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  8. Really cool twist, and a lovely use of words!

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    1. Thanks Varsha! I appreciate that!

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  9. What wonderful descriptive words. You carried me and your character far away from reality so, so well.

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    1. I'm so glad you liked this one, lum! Thank you!

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  10. I love this story! You took me to the beach and brought me back to reality! Love it!

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    1. Thank you Bo! Really and truly thank you for that!!

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  11. Oh, the poor girl. I felt as disappointed as she did. :)

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    1. A rusty old roof sure would be a poor substitute for the real thing!

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  12. I love the idea of an individual going to such an effort to escape to a better environment. All I can think, is thank God the AC has been fixed at my house. It's going to be a hot buggy summer in Georgia. Take care. Enjoyed it.

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    1. Thanks Ann! I was inspired by the "Holidays at Home" notion that the British were encouraged to subscribe to during WWII when gas was in such short supply. I saw a photo of two women sunbathing-and pretending to be at the beach, and I thought it would make a fun story. I hope you can manage to stay cool this summer:)

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  13. Great story! If she can't go to the beach, the next best thing is to bring the beach to her. Reality has to recapture us at some point, but a little escape is better than none at all :)

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  14. Hahaha The power of visualization can be used for good, for evil or for sunbathing on the roof! Great post, Valerie!

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  15. Thanks Kymm! I like how you put that!

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